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Google Goggle Gargoyle
Day: The Day Sydney Turned Red
Weather: Dust Storm
It was to my surprise that things at the drama school had hit such a low lately. So I took Angela, Tim and Michelle out for a coffee to cheer them up.
As we descended the steps of the familiar metallic staircase, red alert was on. Lillian Succubus had just entered the foyer. She is a lean lady in her early 50s who seemed to have jumped straight out of a failed Lean Cuisine commercial. Her skin was inhumanly dry and pale that everything on her face looked like a child’s drawing on an old canvas. Sitting on top of this was a shiny hazel perm on an outdated “collapsed mushroom” hairstyle, which is anything but complementing. Her face is awkwardly squarely with a hard protruding jaw line, resembling my dad’s old shoehorn. Mum always told me “Square-a dzaw peopo are vely dandzelous! Dey only care about demselves and will do anyfing to get what dey want.” Well you ought to trust the good old Chinese wisdom sometimes.
Tim hushed us to a quick turn as soon as we reached the foyer. We moved quickly under the shadows of the stairs behind the columns attempting to avoid an attack. It’s a déjà vu from “Alien” sans soundtrack. The shore was suddenly cleared when Succubus was distracted by a group of students who just came out of rehearsal. She glided towards them like a demon creeping upon her victims. Realising her presence among them the students reacted like a colony of sardines attacked by a shark.
We ordered our drinks in god speed and tiptoed away to a remote corner table where I found out more about the recent saga with the library.
Since the summoning of the three minions, one of them, Joanna Swinestye, the internal affairs “manager” had been working very hard for her master launching waves of attack on Angela. However without any prior knowledge in the library business, everything became a joke. She could come in on an afternoon while all students are at class and tell Angela, “Why isn’t there anyone in the library? And what is your staff doing at the computer? Don’t they have work to do? Like lending things to people?” When Angela told her that they were actually taking the quiet time to finish their cataloguing so that things are available on the library catalogue, she replied “Catalogue? Are we selling books? Why do we need a catalogue?”
Another classic case was Joanna came in with Succubus pressing for extending library hours while cutting back the number of library staff. When Angela told them that this is quite impossible, they required an explanation. Angela explained that if there were only two staff left in the library, nobody would be able to help the students in their research. Joanna immediately hissed and dismissed Angela, “Helping the students? Now that’s what we called over-servicing!” When Angela told her that’s what librarians do, Succubus laughed it off and said, “Don’t be ridiculous! They don’t need help. You can find anything on Google nowadays, if it is not on Google, it doesn’t exist!”
When I was still gasping on what I heard, Succubus had finished devouring the souls of those students and noticed our presence. Like a hellhound born to kill, she moved swiftly over our way. Tim whispered, “Shit, we are spotted”. She stopped at our table with an artificial smile resembling “The Bride of Chucky”. While Tim and Michelle were not in a mood chitchatting with her, Angela politely introduced me as an alumnus of the school. She looked over with disinterest and with a cold robotic C3PO tone, said, “Welcome back. Pity you’re gone already. Otherwise you can enjoy the better school that I am building.” I told her I liked the place as it is. She let out a geyser puff of laughter and said, “New management, new direction, boy. That’s how it works. You’re too young to understand this”. I asked her what were the grounds for changes. With pride she said, “I talked to students, they told me what they want and I implement them. I’m here for them.”
“By telling them Google is the only thing they need to finish their studies? That’s helpful” I smirked. “And how many students told you they want to take out the script archives for 10 more computers?”
“I solidly remember at least 10 students said they want more computers. It’s quite a prominent figure. Besides the script archives are just wasting space.”
“Great! A drama school that threw out its own script archives. That’s an attraction! And 10 out of 150 students? Have you even checked the usage of computers?” I prompted.
“If that’s what they thought and told me, that has to be true.” She replied confidently.
I broke into laughter, much to her surprise, “No offense, so if 40 out of the 80 people who work here think that you’re a dumb prick, it has to be true too then.”
For the first time I saw colour on Succubus’ face. Angela, Tim and Michelle downed themselves with coffee to maintain a professional visage. With much effort, Succubus squeezed a smile and suddenly in a strong bad RP, “Well, that was interesting. Nice meeting you.” Without missing a beat, she twirled around and walked away.
I looked at Angela, Tim and Michelle, “what’s with that accent? Are we still in colonial age?” Tim choked and spat his coffee and everyone burst into laughter.
It’s nice to hear them laughing again. But back in my mind I know more will come. I need to act quickly.
