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Date: The Day After Tomorrow
Weather: Eternal Sunshine of the Insanely Spotted Mind
Survived two days at work. Just like Jake survived “The Day After Tomorrow”.
The first day was just orientation. My boss is a nice lady in her 50s with a very quiet and calm mannerism that you can hear the sound of silence when she speaks.
The orientation is basically a garden tour around the place; meeting people and forgetting their names; having lunch at a canteen that serves plastic tasting food and of course being disorientated. Seriously the induction program was comprehensive that it is easier to remember the lines of a Shakespeare play than anything they told me in the program. And at the end of the day I need to fill in a 600-page questionnaire asking me how I felt about the induction. Seriously, at drama school the only thing I barely need to write is a 14-line sonnet that barely needs to mean anything at all. These people, they are so - serious!
Back to the job. Thank God! It’s just for six months with “possible extension” (which I hope won’t happen) on a project related to performing arts. So happened the library got some funding to set up an art related database and blah so they need someone with extensive art knowledge to help them. It’s 3 days a week (Ooohooo tomorrow is the end of working week ☺) and blah.
Anyway I told them upfront that I have to be flexible and need to go last minute to auditions and such and surprising they are very accommodating…must be hard to find good people like me nowadays ☺
Had my first meeting today and met two of the people I will be working with in the next few months. The first one is a woman in her 40s called Eva Cologne. From the moment I saw her, I knew she is a hell to work with. She is basically the elongated version of Margaret Thatcher with a 24/7 Madonna rage without a Madonna face. She treats other people like she was Eva Peron with her nose pointing to the sky most of the time. I wonder how could she not have a neck problem with her head permanently tilted upward? And she always speaks with an out of nowhere authoritative tone:
“Ai rrreckon that we don’t need someone else to kome in to hellp us. Ai rrrreckon that Ai alrrready have the experrtise for this. Ai have the expertise for everrything! Ai rrrreckon it is a waste of time and money. Ai Ai Ai…”
For me, “Ai rrreckon we should just send her to the firrrring squad!”
And her cologne! Really! I rrrreckon that if you can only afford $5 Paddy’s Market fragrances, you might as well extract water from your shit.
The other workmate was more human. Martha is a British girl full of energy and always wears a smile no matter what. She carries a “fooney” British accent and I already asked her to teach me so that I can make use of it when I opened up the UK market in the future. I am impressed that she managed to keep her sanity after 6 months with the mighty Cologne. She is currently engaged to her Aussie boyfriend whom you can see the pride on her face every time she mentioned him. More importantly she is around my age, so I have someone normal to talk to. Seriously, when you are working with Eva you really need someone normal to look at and make faces to lol Martha is like the team’s “Eternal Sunshine of the Insanely Spotted Mind”.
My boss explained the reason why they needed me in a very diplomatic way. But like all DVDs (& Blu-rays), you always have the "behind the scenes" stuff. So far every single person I met told me that Eva had completely screwed up the deadline and the project is already 6 months overdue. She keeps on spending more money and then telling people she is so busy because she has to do her own job and take care of the project. Seriously, judging from the day I worked with her, I think if she shortens her “Ais” every time she opens her mouth and spend the time she purposelessly boasting about her deluded ability to do some work, she would be able to finish everything on time.
But who am I to complain? I got a job (like it or not) and mum is happy. She is telling every one “My son is a laibearlian at da university!” Judging from the improvements in the quality of my laundry, I think I will just take advantage of the next 6 months…hm maybe get some materials out of this for my next play…
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